World is sad, people in the world are sad, but you don’t have to be today. Weather you are a Geek, nerd or a normal person, it is always good to have some humor.

So, Here are some of the best and funniest Geek jokes that I have found on the internet.

• “I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”
  – Antone Roundy

• Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor

• Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX.

• UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

• In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

• C://dos
  C://dos.run
  run.dos.run

 

• Bugs come in through open Windows.

• Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun.

• Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.

• Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.

• NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands.

My daily Unix command list: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.

Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”

• Erik Naggum: “Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.”

• Windows isn’t a virus, viruses do something.

• Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.

Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.

• Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
  A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

• An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%sadyuhxcjsyguhGYTGYFTY~“@@Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says. “He isn’t null-terminated.”

• If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.

• My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

• If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.

• SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.

• Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades.

• The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.

• Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d.

 

• Did you hear about the Coder that got stuck in his shower for a week? The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.

• The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program.

• If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!

• I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

Hey! It compiles! Ship it!

So, two atoms are walking down a road together. One atom says to the other, “Hey, I think I’ve lost an electron!” The other atom asks, “Are you sure?” The first atom responds, “Yes, I’m positive!”

• The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

• Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.

• COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.

• Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!

• Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.

• To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

• “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”- Michael Sinz

• If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.

• Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.

My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.

Read Next: Some Funny Comments that programmers put in code.

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Sources: The Internet. Sadly I am not good at making jokes, some of these  jokes can be found on this thread.

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