World is sad, people in the world are sad, but you don’t have to be today. Weather you are a Geek, nerd or a normal person, it is always good to have some humor.
So, Here are some of the best and funniest Geek jokes that I have found on the internet.
- “I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”
– Antone Roundy
- Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor
- Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX.
- UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
- In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
- Bugs come in through open Windows.
- Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun.
- Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.
- Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
- NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands.
My daily Unix command list: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.
Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”
- Erik Naggum: “Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.”
- Windows isn’t a virus, viruses do something.
- Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.
Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.
- Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
- An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”
Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%sadyuhxcjsyguhGYTGYFTY~“@@Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says. “He isn’t null-terminated.”
- If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.
- My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
- If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.
- SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.
- Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades.
- The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
- Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.
1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d.
- Did you hear about the Coder that got stuck in his shower for a week? The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.
- The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program.
- If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
- I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.
Hey! It compiles! Ship it!
So, two atoms are walking down a road together. One atom says to the other, “Hey, I think I’ve lost an electron!” The other atom asks, “Are you sure?” The first atom responds, “Yes, I’m positive!”
- The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?
The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.
- Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.
- COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
- Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
- Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
- To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.
CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.
- “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”- Michael Sinz
- If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
- Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.
My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.
Sources: The Internet. Sadly I am not good at making jokes, some of these jokes can be found on this thread.
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