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50+ Funniest Geek Jokes And One Liners To Make You Laugh

World is sad, people in the world are sad, but you don’t have to be today. Weather you are a Geek, nerd or a normal person, it is always good to have some humor.

So, Here are some of the best and funniest Geek jokes that I have found on the internet.

  • “I’m not interrupting you, I’m putting our conversation in full-duplex mode.”
    – Antone Roundy
  • Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor
  • Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

The box said ‘Requires Windows Vista or better’. So I installed LINUX.

  • UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.
  • In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
  • C://dos
    C://dos.run
    run.dos.run

 

  • Bugs come in through open Windows.
  • Penguins love cold, they wont survive the sun.
  • Unix is user friendly. It’s just selective about who its friends are.
  • Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
  • NT is the only OS that has caused me to beat a piece of hardware to death with my bare hands.

My daily Unix command list: unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep.

Microsoft: “You’ve got questions. We’ve got dancing paperclips.”

  • Erik Naggum: “Microsoft is not the answer. Microsoft is the question. NO is the answer.”
  • Windows isn’t a virus, viruses do something.
  • Computers are like air conditioners: they stop working when you open Windows.

Mac users swear by their Mac, PC users swear at their PC.

  • Q: Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?
    A: Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.
  • An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, “So what’ll it be?”
The first string says, “I think I’ll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%sadyuhxcjsyguhGYTGYFTY~“@@Dz x.xvcu”
“Please excuse my friend,” the second string says. “He isn’t null-terminated.”

  • If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.
  • My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
  • If brute force doesn’t solve your problems, then you aren’t using enough.
  • SUPERCOMPUTER: what it sounded like before you bought it.
  • Evolution is God’s way of issuing upgrades.
  • The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
  • Beware of programmers that carry screwdrivers.

1f u c4n r34d th1s u r34lly n33d t0 g37 l41d.

 

  • Did you hear about the Coder that got stuck in his shower for a week? The instructions on his shampoo said: Lather, rinse, repeat.
  • The beginning of the programmer’s wisdom is understanding the difference between getting program to run and having a runnable program.
  • If I wanted a warm fuzzy feeling, I’d antialias my graphics!
  • I’m not anti-social; I’m just not user friendly.

Hey! It compiles! Ship it!

So, two atoms are walking down a road together. One atom says to the other, “Hey, I think I’ve lost an electron!” The other atom asks, “Are you sure?” The first atom responds, “Yes, I’m positive!”

  • The truth is out there. Anybody got the URL?

The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are FBI agents.

  • Some things Man was never meant to know. For everything else, there’s Google.
  • COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.
  • Be nice to the nerds, for all you know they might be the next Bill Gates!
  • Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
  • To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

  • “Programming is like sex, one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.”- Michael Sinz
  • If you give someone a program, you will frustrate them for a day; if you teach them how to program, you will frustrate them for a lifetime.
  • Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.

My attitude isn’t bad. It’s in beta.

Read Next: Some Funny Comments that programmers put in code.


Sources: The Internet. Sadly I am not good at making jokes, some of these  jokes can be found on this thread.

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Categories: Internet Junkyard
Saurabh Tripathi :Saurabh is Founder of Getting Geek and is an all around computer nerd. Currently Saurabh is at his home messing up with some ugly looking code. Send him your Questions, Suggestions and Pizzas at saurabh@GettingGeek.com